Jesus Christ and Liza with a Z Almighty, what the hell kind of a gay are you? Just what sort of bowtie-wearing homosexual is unable to pronounce the word “palazzo”? We wuz mortified on your behalf. Shame on you, “pal.” No seersucker palazzo pants for you. And don’t try to claim that as some kind of bear you wouldn’t wear them anyway. Bears do not wear bowties. You wear a bowtie. Therefore you are not a bear. The syllogayism should suffice.
Ah, the wonders of Craigslist, possums....Click to enlarge and reminisce.
The video clearly demonstrates that, as usual in the gay community, it was the lesbians doing the organizing while the twinks were off somewhere procuring booze or making coffee for scary-looking tops with German accents.
Bravo wasted no time in trying to capitalize on Team Rainbow (somebody in marketing give Jamie Lauren a job, stat) with t-shirts. In response, and overcome by a bout of civic-mindedness, the Gals have offered a host of brilliant marketing suggestions to Bravo. And now we have put our nonexistent Photoshop skills to the test to join our voices with theirs, but this time to address ourselves to NBC itself. NBC, like all the broadcast networks, is in desperate need of a hit. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is no more, and Heroes is on life support. So why not take synergy to the next level and greenlight Team Rainbow as a midseason replacement? Picture it: a trio of gays with super powers who travel back in time to prevent disasters such as the passing of Proposition 8 in California, Michelle Obama’s Election Night dress, and Madonna’s discovery of Kabbalah.
STARRING:
(Although, for obvious reasons, My Little Pony hairbrush not included with action figure).
Think about it, NBC. Save the male cheerleader, save the world. (Oh, and need we mention that Richard Sweeney was, in fact, a male cheerleader).
We suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that when asked by the Rocky Mountain News, "If you could prepare a meal for any president in history, who would it be? And what would you serve?," Ursus Major Tom Colicchio should have picked the original Teddy Bear, Theodore Roosevelt.
As Colicchio puts it, "He was such a great outdoorsman, and . . . the dinner conversation would just be amazing. I could see where he would eat for four to five hours nonstop and it would just be a great night." He would have served Teddy a meal based on game--no mention of bear meat--and truffles.
All well and good and delicious, but somehow--without, of course, any evidence--we had always figured Tom Colicchio for a Democrat.
We must confess, possums, that we are relieved our eyes are not deceiving us (always an issue when one's eyes are bigger than one's mouth). For some time now, at least since last year, we have noticed that Tom Colicchio has become less loveable--that is, there is less of him to love.
And now, Salon.com brings us the crushing realization that we might be ever so slightly responsible:
Poor Tom. And oh the irony of it. The bear movement was in part supposed to tackle the crippling body fascism that plagues the Gays, but in Tom's case it has had the opposite effect. And to think we might have been unwitting agents of Muscle-leanies' Black-Teeshirts! Oh the shame of it! So, for the record--Tom, possum, we were not calling you fat.
And possums, do read the rest of the interview, where Tom pegs Ilan Hall as "immature" and discusses the pressure (or lack thereof) to crown a female Top Chef.
