BSC #41: Mary Anne vs. Logan

Brief Synopsis

Logan Bruno, Mary Anne's long time better half, is on his way to becoming a scary obsessive boyfriend. He shows up randomly at Mary Anne's house, calls her repeatedly and is really bossy. MA pulls a Ross Gellar and asks for them to go on a break, which they do. A week or two later, on Valentine's Day, MA shows up for a sitting job at the Brunos' house (for Logan's two younger siblings), only to find out that he's secretly arranged an elaborate V-Day dinner for them, complete with gifts. She realizes he doesn't get it and a few days later she breaks it off with him officially.

Subplot: Jenny Prezzioso's mother is expecting a new baby and little Jenny, who's a spoiled brat, is jealous. Mary Anne, along with Stacey and Claudia, helps the P's host a baby shower, and eventually Jenny gets over herself when she meets the new baby.

• This scary looking cover is from the British version. Logan looks kind of redneckish. Somehow, I always imagined him looking a little like Zack Morris--I have no idea why. And Mary Anne looks like she's carrying a crossbow.
  

• At one of the meetings, Mary Anne thinks she's dressed like a nerd compared to Claudia. But Mary Anne is wearing a cropped t-shirt with a picture of a cactus sporting a cowboy hat. Wow, bare skin! On a BSC member? Shocking! Also, if I were a cactus with a propensity for hat wearing, I'd be rocking the tam 'o shanter look. Just 'cause.
  

• After Mary Anne asks Logan if they can go on a break, she starts worrying that he's going out on a V-Day date with another girl. Have no fear, MA. I never thought Ginger was all that hot myself.

• At the very end of the book, when MA goes out to talk to Logan to break things off, Dawn tells her that she needs to stop dropping everything for her boyfriend. Dawn, honey, how long ago was it that you were crying in your bok choy because you thought that a sixteen year old boy who took you out on one sort-of-date would have liked you better if you'd only gotten that third piercing in your ear? Taking relationship lessons from Dawn "I wanna be Travis's girl" Schafer--yep, always a fine, fine idea.

• Speaking of Travis, this book reminds me of Dawn and the Older Boy because there's another scene where a boy orders for a girl without asking her what she wanted. (Travis orders Dawn a grilled cheese, Logan orders MA a cheeseburger, when she really wanted a grilled cheese.) For the record, Dawn says nothing to Travis because she's relieved that he at least didn't order any meat. Mary Anne complains even though she doesn't call back the waiter to change her order. Now who's the budding feminist in training?

• At the meeting where Mary Anne reveals that she broke up with Logan, the other girls start reminiscing about all the boys they've loved before, like Stacey's lifeguard Scott, Alex and Toby from Sea City, Will from Camp Mohawk, and Terry from California. Claudia asks, "'How come we always fall in love when we're out of town and the relationship can't last?'" Because, Claudia, the carefully assembled team of ghostwriters doesn't have enough personality traits to sustain more than one well thought out male character at a time. And they've already used up "athletic," "controlling," "good with little kids" and "Southern" on Logan and "athletic," "good with little kids," and "looks good in a lobster suit" on Bart.

• Jenny thinks that the stork brings babies. Claudia starts to tell tell her where they really come from, but MA stops her after she mentions something about Mrs. P's stomach getting much bigger. This is BSC world, after all. Where restrooms have no tampon dispensers and where the drugstore doesn't even have a family planning aisle.
  

• Karen's going through some angst because of her pretend husband Ricky Torres. She even calls up the BSC and asks if they'll sit for her stuffed cats, Moosie and Goosie. Yeah, yeah, cute today, but wait till she's one of those creepy middle aged ladies who collects stuffed bears and dolls obsessively, and won't leave home without counting all of them, gives them all elaborate names like Reginald Furrington III, Esq., and even makes tiny teddy bears for her stuffed bears. Not that I'm describing anyone I know personally.

• When Logan takes Mary Anne out ice skating and to play in the snow, he gets pissy when she says she's way too cold to enjoy it and wants to go home. Aw, come on, Mary Anne. What's dignity, comfort and fun got to do with it?

• The Prezziosos had no real plan for when Mrs. P went into labor. The morning that they go to the hospital, they ring up Jessi at the last minute to come sit for Jenny because she was the only one available. So if she'd gone into labor at night or while the girls were all in school, they would have, um...what? Do the Prezziosos have no family? no adult friends? Seriously, someone has to break this nasty co-dependency that the BSC has with its clients.

• When Mary Anne babysits for Jenny, they play a game called Flamingo Fight in the front yard while they wait for Jenny's parents to come home with the new baby. To play Flamingo Fight, you have to hop around on one leg blindfolded trying to knock each other over. We used to play this game when I was a kid, but we had a different name for it. I think we called it "How to turn your babysitting charge into roadkill without really trying."
  

• Logan is the one who decides when their "break" ends, even though he's not the one who initiated it. He also was planning their reunion only a week after they'd taken a break. (They decide to cool things off on a Friday night, and MA tells Dawn, but she doesn't tell the BSC anything at school the next Monday. Then we jump to the next Monday meeting where she explains the break up and where Logan calls to set up Valentine's day.) I think MA should have run screaming from the house when she saw what was going on. Do you really want to wait until he starts making you watch "Citizen Kane" every night and showing you the glass coffin he'll keep your body in if you leave him?

• MA gets a gold heart bracelet, a corsage, a gigantic box of chocolates and a spaghetti dinner meal for V-Day. The best thing I ever got was some cheap (um, I mean, lovingly crafted) origami animals. Oh, and the complete works of Alfred Hitchcock, which are going to fetch a pretty penny on eBay one of these days.

Words of Wisdom from Dawn Schafer

'"'Did he take part of you, or did you let him take part of you?'" Oh, Dawn, I totally want to go out and read The Second Sex with you, and then eat tofutti ice cream and talk about how the word "semester" is a sign of patriarchy and should be changed to "ovester." To the feminist bookstore!