Hosea Rosenberg’s “Tasty Treats,” “Hugs, Kisses, and Spoon-Feeding” at South Beach

For details, read this account of the party hosted at the Pelican Hotel by Jeff McInnis, and featuring the work of Jamie Lauren, Melissa Harrison, and—surprise!—Leah Cohen.

Just for the Tastelessness of It: Colicchio Spot Features Padma Stand-In, Betrays Diet Dr. Pepper, Gets In Dig at Grant Achatz and His Ilk

Amuse-Biatch “What Is That Hand Doing?” Photoessay: In the Absence of Shirtless Shots, the Closest We Could Get to Jeff McInnis Objectification

Jeff McInnis: “In a Past Life, Padma [Lakshmi] Was a Cow and She Just Sat in a Salt Lick the Whole Time, Just [Licking]”

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Blind, Hairy-Palmed Amuse-Biatch Fails to See Why Jeff McInnis Thinks Bravo Objectified Him

Yes, possums, we know he told People:

I think the show used me as some kind of sex object. Every single show that I’ve ever seen, they have me with my shirt off in the beginning — which is kind of strange. I don’t run around the house naked half the time like they portrayed me. It seems like a camera was always following me around trying to find me whenever I’m taking my clothes off to change in the morning or at night. So, to be used like that is always fun.

But, having looked at the evidence, we just don’t see it.

Jeff McInnis: “Nobody Would Look Me in the Eye”

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Midnight Cowboy Rides Off Into the Sunset

Our Sentiments Exactly

Leah & Hosea to Cook Together Again

And under the auspices of Jeff McInnis, who is throwing a recession-buster of a party in South Beach. Tickets (only 150 are available!) are “$175+taxes+fees” and give you, possums, “access to both penthouses on the top floor of the Pelican [Hotel], culinary entertainment [ahem] by Top Chefs, open bar and ocean views.” The sweet stylings of Nero on the lyre are complimentary. Buy your tickets now! And if you do go, possums, be sure to send us a report.

Gratuitous Beefcake Shot (a Little Lean, to Be Sure, But What's There Is Cherce)

“My Zen Is Zonked”: Get That Woman Her Own T-Shirt

Carla lays down the law (and the mop), Jeff goes half-naked and dripping wet, Stefan’s accent adds piquancy to his views on democracy, a lesbian predictably “dialogues,” Stefan channels Gertrude Stein on the parfait and the imparfait, and Hosea resents that Stefan is hiding his candy.

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Get That Man Some Nipple Clamps

Previews: Trash, Pigs, Condescension and Multiple Missed Product-Placement Opportunities--E, I, E, I, O

Cherchez la Femme: Mrs. Jeff McInnis

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Blondie's Got a Treasure Trail!

Spelling Bee-atch: Talking Heads “Brûléeing” Down the House

Well, possums, them Bravo folks cain’t seem ta spell them damn furrin Eyetaleean and Frenchie words. And they sure do seem averse to hyphens, too.

At this rate, we are crossing our fingers and waiting for the day when they leave the second “i” out of the name of Jeff McInnis’ restaurant.

Ah, the Dildo Club.

And while we’re on the subject of Jeff McInnis, why is it that Jeff gets the “c” in his last name capitalized, whereas the first “i” in Rocco DiSpirito’s name is lower case?

Confidential to Jeff McInnis: Try Cinnamon in Your Diet

Amuse-Biatch Night Vision: In Stills from Unaired Episode of “Oz,” We Learn Who Takes the Top Bunk in the Pretty Boy Cell

Or do we really?

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Worried About Missing His Hairdresser’s Appointment, Jeff McInnis Wears Two Watches

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: It’s a Mothereffin’ “Blue Steel”-Off