hey ladies

have you ever wanted to get on the turps every night, but worried about the effect it might have on your beautiful appearance? worry no more...this japanese brewery has the answer for you. collegen in wants you to be a beautiful pisspot - the more you drink the more radiant you become. 15% peach, 4% alcohol and 100% 'japanese'. this product is sure to be a hit in tokyo; where beauty and appearance is everything and consumers will believe ANYTHING the package tells them.

a sake a day keeps the doctor away

no this is not a recent bust by japanese customs nor have i become a pharmie to calm my nerves during train push-on time...this is how doctors in japan administer antibiotics. i have a theory that the mountain of drugs they give out are a placebo, it is the keeping track of what to take and when that snaps you back to health. 

luckily i have only had to visit a japanese doctor twice. the first time was an emotional  experience, during which a very cute pink and white dressed nurse tested me for influenza. just before shoving a long thin rod fair up my right nostril she did warn me 'chotto itai' (this is going to hurt a little). if you have ever had anything rammed up a nostril you will know that it is not a very comfortable feeling. all the activity in that region set off a chain reaction of loud screaming sneezes followed by tears streaming down my face coupled with laughter and disbelief. it turned out i didn't have influenza after all, but i was loaded up with a range of pharmaceuticals. i have tried to avoid the doctors surgery ever since, but recently found myself struck down by the yucky tokyo flu germs. i am almost at the end of my hectic drug taking schedule...japanese antibiotics really do keep you on your toes.