The Fabio Viviani Top Chef Audition Video; Warning: Many “Beat Your Meat” Jokes Within

Will Even the Lesbians Succumb to His Charms? Fabio Viviani to Guest Wednesday on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”

Well, they have a similar fashion sense, so perhaps it will work out.

From the guest listings on the show's website:

CHEF FABIO VIVIANI: Everybody can’t stop talking about him! He was just eliminated from Bravo’s “Top Chef,” but a lot of people thought he was going to win it all! (Me included!) He’s an amazing chef and has a personality to match! The show’s finale airs tonight and it’s down to Carla, Hosea and Stefan!! After Fabio gives a cooking demonstration, I’m gonna try to get him to spill who becomes Top Chef!

Theeza eeza tha feerst estep for Fabio televeezhon domeenazhon.

And what's this, from a Bravo Q&A?: "Hopes are that America likes me a lot because you will see me again, very soon, Italian-style."

Possums, we have an exclusive preview of Fabio's new television show:

Mad Dogs and Italian Men: Fabio's White and Phallic Pooch

Find more videos like this on Kidshealthcafe.com

So When Is Fabio’s TV Show Premiering?

That Fabio Viviani is getting his very own show seems as much an open secret as it does a teleological necessity (television was invented so that Fabio could go on it). On his blog, Tom Colicchio says,

Fabio was very gracious in defeat, though, and I will share with you that the following morning, I had a chance to spend a little time with Fabio, and I learned that he has a lot of exciting developments happening professionally. This is a man who by the age of thirty had run and sold several successful restaurants in Italy, come to the U.S. and created great opportunity for himself. Without spilling the beans prematurely, I'll say only that we all have not heard the last from Fabio …

Sure sounds like television to us. Indeed, during his exit interview, after recounting a De Sican childhood of little money, child labor and cardboard shoes, Fabio himself says, “I have offer for new tv show.”

So, will it be Bravo, Food Network, or KTLA?

Unkindest Krewe Cut of All Means Zweet Dreams for Last of the Mohawkians

Amuse-Biatch “Choked Up” Photoessay: The Disconnect Between Actions and Words

Well, to be fair to Fabio, possums, it does look as though he’s choking something, rather than someone, so on that level, maybe the t-shirt is actually accurate.

Still, he did do a lot of choking during this episode, n’est-ce pas?

Cherchez la Femme: La Signora Jessica Viviani

First There Was Topo Gigio, Then Roberto Benigni, and Now Fabio Viviani: Gesticulating with Fabio!!

In which we weekly devote ourselves to the impossible task of culling the best gesticulations of the most extravagant Italian import since Roberto Benigni and Topo Gigio:

The Fabian Society's Beefcake and Cheesecake Shots of the Week

Non Odiarlo Perch’È Bello e lo Sa: Fabio Viviani Beefcake Photos of the Week

Possums, don’t hate him because he’s beautiful and knows it. Just enjoy the bistecca fiorentina.

Amuse-Biatch Weekly Photoessay: Gesticulating with Fabio!!

Join us, possums, as we celebrate the joy of self-perpetuating stereotypes. We present our new weekly feature (well, until Fabio is eliminated; long may he reign), Gesticolando col Fabio!!

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: This Year’s Crop of Kisses

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Fabio Viviani, Who “Love Hot Dog,” Asks Eugene Villiatora to Demonstrate “How Make Hot Dog”

Pretty in Pink: Team Fabio

For First Meeting of Fabian Society, Amuse-Biatch Presents Gratuitous and Suggestive Images of Thick-Accented Italian with Bodice-Ripper Name