Tom Colicchio Refuses to Give Us a Watered Down Version of “Say Bitchay”

Possums, we just hate it when others are bitchier than we; it makes us feel like we’re not living up to our name. But when Tom Colicchio does it, it doesn’t bother us at all, especially when it seems he is reading our mind:

The only thing I didn't like about this challenge was the voting power invested in the young culinary students, who, I'm afraid, tended to vote personality over palate….Also -- Top Chef All-Stars? It might be a stretch to say so: Some didn't make it more than half-way through their season's competition. Andrea was eliminated not once but twice, and not one of the members of the “All-Star” team made it to their season's finale....

Exactly, possums. Still, who knew bears could meow?

“Top Chef” Shocker! Nikki Cascone Refuses to Serve a Hungry Raggaydy Andy!

So it's Monday night, possums, and Raggaydy Andy Cohen, Bravo's Senior VP of Production and Programming, and, as it happens, one of the producers of Top Chef, has just seen a "gut wrenching" play about the Iraq war. His gut having been wrenched, it was also in need of a little sustenance, and that's when disaster struck:

After the show, we wandered around Soho looking for a spot to eat. I guided us towards Prince Street and Elizabeth to the restaurant where Nikki Cascone from "Top Chef" is executive chef. It was only 10:25 and we were told the kitchen was closed. WTF? Do we live in DES MOINES or whaaaaayt?

Possums, we sympathize. What's the point of producing "the #1 food show on cable" if you can't even get a meal? And Nikki, Nikki, Nikki--we picture the Staten Island bouffant deflating atop her head as she realizes the magnitude of her faux pas.

And while we're on the subject of darling Nikki, a faithful and inquisitive Amuse-Biatch reader, N., wrote in with an intriguing possum query:

"I heard...that Nikki posed in playboy way back when she was very young.
Have you heard this or seen the pics? I'd love to find them but so far, no luck."

First of all, N., possum, it's understandable that, given our rather large collection of racy Padma pics, you would assume we'd be intimately familiar with Monsieur Hefner's work. Alas, we have not seen an issue of Playboy apart from the one our clearly misguided Secret Santa gave us during our freshman dorm gift exchange. And so we turn to the possums (especially those of you—you know who you are—with extensive collections under your beds). What say ye? For the record, we think it highly unlikely that a nice girl from Staten Island would do that sort of thing. On the other hand, Playboy is looking for Olive Garden "servers" to pose for a pictorial, so one never knows.

The Sous-Chefs Speak Out

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: “Maybe If I Hide Back Here, They Won’t Notice and I’ll Get to the Finale!”

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Much to Our Relief and Delight, Nikki Cascone Finally Beats It

Casey Thompson’s Beaver Boots Will Walk All Over You (and the Riffraff)

Beaver Boots is back, possums, and how we've missed her.

Last season, as is our wont, we needled and teased and mocked Casey Thompson, but she had a good sense of humor and, after reading the blog, rolled with the punches. She definitely earned our respect and admiration, and was extremely gracious to (beaver) boot when our own Miss XaXa and The Big Shamu of The Karmic Kitchen went to Dallas and dropped in on her.

And now, in a new interview on Slashfood, Casey is, appropriately enough, doing a little slashing herself:

What do you think about this season of Top Chef? Are you watching?

I'm supposed to be blogging this season, but I have not have time. I've tried to sit down and watch the first couple shows. The third and fourth I could not get to. I was a little disgusted by their behavior. There are some really strong chefs but I also think there is a lot of riff-raff that they need to get through – those that don't seem to have the experience. They may have worked for some restaurant in New York City, but it may not have even been good. For some, I can't believe what they came up with, and I can't believe they haven't been eliminated yet. But I think that eventually once those clear out we are going to see some really good cooking from some of the better contestants.

Putting our Spelling Bee-atch cap on, we thought we detected a mistake. Isn't "riffraff" actually spelled "N-I-K-K-I C-A-S-C-O-N-E"?