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Showing posts with label Report from the Trencher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Report from the Trencher. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Report from the Trencher
















On Saturday night, Miss XaXa, much like Marie Antoinette, girded her loins, stepped into her peep-toe Mary Janes, and headed for The Chopping Block. Fortunately, possums, she lived to tell us all about it.

The Chopping Block played host to a Top Chef cook-off between Season 3’s Dale Levitski and Season 2’s Josie Smith-Malave, with Ted Allen as a judge and Nick Verreos of Project Runway as master of ceremonies (Joel Grey has nothing on him). The cook-off was a fundraiser for a charity that is near and dear to our hearts, the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition, an organization devoted to ensuring that classrooms and workplaces are safe for people who don’t conform to gender type—and so that middle school boys don’t get murdered by their classmates.

Uncle Ted was impossibly svelte—wait, this man is a food critic?—and looked as though he’d just come from the spa. Uncle Nick had flawless skin—in fact, as Miss XaXa put it, “Bitch [the highest compliment we can pay] had the best skin of any man I’ve seen.” She suspects it’s that unbeatable genetic combo of Greek and Venezuelan ancestry, but we’re convinced there has to be more and want to know the name of the brujo who does his limpias, or the location of the pool where he does laps in Crème de la Mer. Josie was, as Miss XaXa, related, “a blast! Television did not do that woman justice.” As for Dale, you know all too well, possums, that we campaigned and lobbied for Dale as fan favorite, and dammit, he wuz robbed. We’re looking forward to trying his restaurant when it opens in Chicago, and for the record, he’s even brawnier and hunkier in the very solid flesh. As you can see from the pictures, a very good time indeed was had by all, and the entire evening was GenderPACked with fun.




Monday, July 28, 2008

Report from the Trencher: Is Spike Mendelsohn Being Sued?

















We had no idea, possums, when we put out our Doug Llewellyn call, that none other than “Marcel P” himself would answer, and to tell us about a lawsuit, no less. Spike Mendelsohn being sued? And not in the People’s Court? C’est dingue! At any rate, possums, here is the entry from possum Marcel’s own Goncourt Journal of culinary sorties:


I live in the DC area and [a few nights ago] I took three of my friends to Good Stuff Eatery, Spike’s DC Burger restaurant. It is within viewing distance of the Library of Congress, on a stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue that includes many small, cute restaurants, cafes and shops. It is in a relatively affordable and residential area of DC. The restaurant is small, with two floors and a plasma TV on the second floor. When I got there at around seven PM, the restaurant was loud and crowded as people formed a long line for burgers. There is very little in the way of decoration at Good Stuff Eatery, but there is some outdoor seating.

Spike’s dad stands at the door and loves to make conversation. His enthusiasm is a little excessive; he constantly asks you if you have a menu and makes sure you know to stand in the line. He likes to talk to everyone and told me and my friends that the restaurant is being sued by DC chain Five Guys since the burger “Spike’s Five Napkin Burger” sounds too much like something they have. Spike’s dad didn’t go into details, but he said that he was delighted to be sued and hoped it would bring in publicity. He also expressed a healthy disdain for Bush and Cheney. He looked normal enough, wearing a checkered blue collar shirt tucked into navy blue pants, but his shoes were white canvas low tops with bright orange elastic across them and no laces. He said it was a new style. My friend, who does not watch reality TV, asked him if his son runs the restaurant. He proudly responded that it is his son’s restaurant and that he, his wife, Spike’s sister and Spike’s brother help too. He said that they love Washington, DC, and all of their friends live in the area, and added that they would like to open another outpost of the restaurant in the Adams Morgan area. (This is confirmed on Capital Spice.)

Spike was working at the restaurant that night. He had a team of men cooking burgers (there seemed to be one female employee), but he was not among them. He seemed to be handing out bags of food and putting marshmallows on shakes, but I don’t want to sound mean, I’m not entirely sure what he was doing, and he did seem to be hard at work there. He was wearing one of his “asshats” from the show, a plaid black and white hat with black fringe around it. He had his scruffy beard and looked exactly as he did on the show, except his nose seemed to be a bit bigger and resembled his father’s. There is a picture of him smiling on the wall of the restaurant by a quote about how he remembers his grandfather making burgers. He was moving to the loud rock music as he worked. The restaurant has almost no atmosphere and the food is served in bags with plastic plates given to you. There may be some seating outside and on the second floor, but it is more of a take-out place. The grease of the food seeps through the white bags.

I ordered the “Blazin’ Barn,” a burger that includes Asian ingredients like daikon and Thai basil. It also had carrots, mint, and a spicy mayonnaise on it. It tasted fine, but the burgers Spike and his crew are making there are really not gourmet. The burgers are small and flat, not especially juicy and rather greasy. They are not different from what you would get at another burger place, but they are not bad. They are average burgers. The “Village Fries” with rosemary, thyme and pepper are pleasant, and the ordinary fries are fine. The milkshakes are quite good because they are thick enough. The only stand-out items on the menu are the Vidalia Onion Rings. They are unusual and mild in flavor, and nicely fried, excellent and uncommon in my view. I also enjoyed the mayonnaise bar which included sriracha, chipotle, Old Bay and mango mayonnaise. It was all good, especially the Old Bay, oddly enough.

I enjoyed my meal at “Good Stuff Eatery,” but I came away a tad disappointed. I thought the menu looked promising and hoped that Spike would do a riff on burgers, using his knowledge gained from the Culinary Institute of America and from other restaurants where he worked to make a fancier burger accessible to DC residents. But there were not many twists here – it’s just a burger joint, but with a chef who has been on TV. The twists – a mayo bar, a burger with daikon and carrots, sriracha at your table – are minor and not really innovative. Good Stuff Eatery is like Spike’s pork taco in the Rick Bayless Quickfire challenge; it’s good street food, but it isn’t anything more.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Amuse-Biatch Report from the Trencher: Spike “Asshat” Mendelsohn’s Establishment Beset by Asshattery




















The Army of Possums is out there, possums, and not surprisingly, they have teeth. Possum "R." had the misfortune to happen upon the not so aptly named Good Stuff Eatery, the Washington, D.C., eatery recently opened by Spike Mendelsohn. This is R.'s account of the experience:


I work on Capitol Hill and decided to stop by…for a milkshake (I was NOT waiting in line to eat lunch at a joint owned by Spike) and…my experience [can be summed up with the verdict:] incredibly incompetent staff. I ordered what was advertised as a dulce-de-leche shake. I assumed this is what was meant by the "D-lechable leche" on the menu, which sounds a little bit too much like “lecher” and less like “delectable” than I’m sure Spike intended. The poor boy, bless his heart, is no Shakespeare. I ordered the lecher's shake because they didn’t have any malt left, and a malt was what I really wanted; they seemed to be out of EVERYTHING and it ended up tasting much more like butterscotch than dulce de leche.

Also, when we arrived (a colleague was with me) at approximately 3:15, a crudely hand-written sign on the door said they were closed from 3:30-5:30 to get ready for the dinner rush. I went to open the door and a group of employees sitting outside said they were closed. I pointed to the sign and noted that it was 3:15. They said they weren’t serving anything. When I noted that I only wanted a milkshake, they relented and let me in. But then the two very young (maybe even high-school-aged) girls behind the counter repeated the fact that they were closed, before someone appearing to be a manager walked by and said it was O.K. The service didn’t really improve much from there.

A colleague had gone by for a carry-out lunch the previous day – I think it was opening day – and had the patience to wait in line. Spike himself made her salad. All his salads are iceberg-wedge-based – which, besides being utterly unoriginal (it’s very 1999-chichi-Northeastern-steakhouse) also created a problem for takeout orders. My colleague said all her salad’s toppings had migrated to the bottom of the carry-out container by the time she got back to the office and actually ate the thing.


All we can say, possums, is that we’re not surprised by the asshattery. Our thanks to R. for sending in that report. At the risk of sounding a little Doug Llewellyn, we ask you, possums, to oblige us: if you happen to eat somewhere where a cheftestant has had a hand in the food, do like R. and send us a write-up of the experience.

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