Poor Trail-“Blazering” Rocco DiSpirito Was Beaten Up by Hooligans as a Kid; Now That He’s 42 (!!), He Gets Beaten Up by Bloggers and Chefs

You’re in luck this morning, possums. The New York Times has published a delicious, bitchy, Schadenfreude-laden rum ball of an article on Rocco DiSpirito. Giggle or shake your head in sadness as you try to decide whether Rocco is trying to convince himself and people that he’s shallower than he is, or was once trying to convince himself and people that he was deeper than he really was.

Our favorite bit, though, is the emblematic disconnect between Rocco’s statements and his fashion statements. In the article, Rocco says, “I was the kid in the maroon blazer on the way to Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Catholic school, in between one gang and another gang, and it was like, How did I want to get beat up today?” And so, of course, on his first trip back to Jamaica, Queens, in 20 years, what does he wear? As you can see from the picture above, a tweed blazer. Is Rocco secretly a masochist? Is he looking to get beaten up? Inquiring minds want to know.

Andrew D'Ambrosi On Premeditated Assault, How Season 4 Almost Became Season 2, How the Judging Is Erratic, and How There Is a Lack of Integrity

Andrew D'Ambrosi on why he didn't hit Lisa Fernandes: “I signed that contract; I’m not allowed to do things. Otherwise there would have been 400% more headbutts than any other season.”

Then, in the most tantalizing--and, alas, abruptly edited--bit, Andrew and Spike discuss how Andrew planned to throw Dale Talde out a window at the "Top Chef" house after the cameras left, presumably the same night as Dale's legendary, crotch-grabbing outburst.

Andrew: “That crazy night where he yelled at everybody, I told him to shut the f up, and he didn’t shut up, and I went away for a little bit. And I came back down and he was still crying, and I’m, like, ‘Dude, you have undeserved anger,’ and for some reason that set him off….He tried to, like, run at me, and Blais tried to, like, hold him…” And that’s where Bravo cuts the tape.